Mother is not just a noun or adjective. Mother is a Verb: A Mother's Day Special!

Today is Mother’s Day. I don’t normally think about this day as anything special because I always think everyday is a mother’s day anyway, but having seen all the greetings on Facebook made me stop and reflect further on what motherhood means.

Mother is more than a noun or an adjective. It is a verb. But unlike most verbs, which are words denoting a single act, mother is a series of ongoing action. More conventionally, motherhood starts from conception of, giving birth to, raising a child and guiding the child across life stages. Some moms may not go through it in this sequence – there are those who embody the real essence of motherhood without having physically given birth to a child – the aunts who look after the children of the overseas workers, the adoptive moms (regardless of gender) who adore the adopted much more than any real mom ever could, the elder sisters who take on the role with so much devotion.

Motherhood means joy and happiness – that kind of bliss emanating from cuddling a sleeping child, or the kind of wonder one gets from seeing things, otherwise ordinary, through the eyes of a child. The joy coming from heartwarming moments of "firsts" - a baby's first smile, first word, first step, first day in school, and so on.

Motherhood though can sometimes be trivialized especially by this breed of celebrity moms, who probably think dressing up the child in matching fashion and parading in front of the paparazzis is all what it takes to be one. While this might have inspired the coinage of terms such as "hot mama" (in China, it's called "spicy mama"), and sometimes it’s cool to be called a hot mama, motherhood is so much more than that. Most of the time, motherhood means a lot of sacrifice.

And when I think of mothers and sacrifices, I don’t need to go very far - the very best example is my own mother.  I remember how my mom prepared for my first day of school. She lovingly covered my very first notebook: she removed the spring wire so it would not accidentally hurt tiny fingers, and in its place had sewn a yellow thread to match the yellow buttercups on the cover. It was a very simple act but on hindsight I know it was just one of the many things she did to help ensure I stayed safe or didn’t get hurt – to protect me. In the ensuing years, my mother sacrificed her own needs and given up so many things so that I could have what I needed as a child, as a student, or as a young adult – and continued to protect me from harsh realities lurking in the background.  

My mother’s sacrifices for me, and my brothers, are endless. Until now, she continues to do the same, though this time she goes the extra mile more for her grandchildren. She refuses to buy new clothes or shoes for herself and instead saves the money for the various requests and requirements of her grandchildren.

My mother is my best PR. She buys gifts that she tells relatives and friends are from me. Yes, sometimes that is true, i.e., the money is from me, but the thoughtfulness has always been hers. Whenever she travels out of the country, she always ensures she has something for the old folks - our dear neighbors, the old ladies who helped define my beautiful childhood.

My mother is every bit a heroine, having dedicated and continuing to dedicate her life to her fellows. Beyond her family, she has helped her church in the best way that she could - being one of the biggest donors of a small church in a very small town. She always sets money aside for her church, even if this means she would never buy anything for herself or even if it means risking her pride to ask from other potential donors.

There are so many quotes about motherhood, and all deserving of this extraordinary act, but my favorite of all is one that goes something like this: God cannot be everywhere and that’s why he created mothers. Mothers are God’s lieutenants, real-world angels.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, the aunts, the sisters and those who have done the act in more ways than one.